Life..?

I wouldn't call myself a shy because i normally just betrayed myself and turn into another person when i am with   my best friends. I am not anti-social either. Just that i don't know how to express myself at times. I mean i don't know how should i react to certain people and i am definitely not a topic starter. I love to gossip and say people behind their back like i am perfect. Which obviously i am not. When i say i hate this person, i mean it. I will "bash" her to every bits as much as possible. I am dangerous.